Avraham and Avimelech

(B'reishit perek 20)

I want to thank my friend Dov Bar-Leib for bringing this to my attention. I admit when I think about this story I always concentrate on one aspect, the Ramban's criticism of Avraham for thinking it's ok to lie by only telling part of the truth.

Avimelech does something very wrong by taking another man's wife; only he doesn't know she is married. It doesn't matter; God punishes his whole family as a result. But he doesn't even know it's a punishment! Today's "Katrina, etc., are punishments" crowd think he should have figured it out himself; after all, how often does the same strange malady affect everyone in the family at once? But he didn't; he didn't realize what was going on until he had a Private visit. And then his defense argument was accepted!

Still, God tells him he will die if he doesn't return Sara to Avraham. He does, and he gives Avraham many gifts. But according to Dov, the last gift, the thousand pieces of silver, was meant as a curse! (It was "a covering of the eyes": a curse that the Yitzhak would go blind.)

So here you are: you're Avraham...this guy stole your wife, ignored the obvious Divine nature of his punishment, copped a plea, and then tried to curse you! What do you do? B'reshit 20:17: "Avraham prayed to God, and God healed Avimelech, his wife, and his concubines, and they gave birth."

Avraham forgave him! He didn't rant about how evil he was and deserving of his punishment, he didn't gloat about his moral superiority, he just forgave. Avimelech did as he was Told, and so Avraham did as Hashem promised he would.

Because that is the Torah way. Not to gloat at the defeat of our enemies; not to say, "I told you so." To accept the T'shuva and move on. Dov says Hashem turned the curse into a blessing (so that Yaakov could then get the Bracha from Eisav), and so Avraham could move on. If there were any more punishments due Avimelech, God would take care of it.

And did he do right? Dov also says that the enabling of Sara to bear Yitzchak at the age of 90 was a REWARD for Avraham's prayers for Avimelech. So it seems he did.

(I must point out that the Ramban's interpretation of B'reishit 20:16 is that Sara did NOT forgive Avimelech, and the Ramban praises her for it. Based on this analysis, I must humbly disagree with that opinion.)

And the final clincher? The ultimate level of T'shuva is to be placed in the same situation and not to the same sin; 40+ years later, Avimelech had the chance to do the same thing with Rivka, and he did not. (Maybe his longevity was a reward, too.) So Avraham was right to believe he would learn his lesson.

Our job is to help bring about the T'shuva of the entire world. When we fail, or in those cases where the best efforts cannot help, then Hashem will eventually punish; but it is not then our right to gloat. We must move on the the next task, for there is still much more to be done.

Betach Nislach...surely we WILL forgive

The Hitnatkut was not quite over; most of the people were out but the homes were not yet demolished; and it was almost Elul. I was on my way back from Malcha Mall with one of my children, when I saw some Gush Katif supporters set up with their new slogan: "Lo Nishkach V'lo Nislach." "We will not forget and we will not forgive."

I was sickened. What do you mean, we won't forgive? At the eve of the season of repentence, of SLICHA, do you mean to say that if Sharon suddenly and sincerely realized he was wrong, apologized, and set out to make amends, we would spit in his face and tell him too bad, he was already condemend for eternity? If we treat our fellow man, and in this case our fellow Jew, that way, how can we turn around and ask Hashem to forgive US?

It sounds to me like we are trying to fit into our enemies' stereotypes of us. Religious "fanatics", "ayatollas", preaching "fire and brimstone" like the best Bible Belt preachers. This is NOT the Torah way.

(I have had several apologists try to explain to me. One view is, only if "they" are not repentant will we not forgive. Well of course not. And only if I stand up will I be standing. It's a pointless statement. The other view is that it is talking politically, about not forgiving when it is election time. Well that proved false almost immediately; Netanyahu tried to move up the Likud primary and lost the vote to Sharon supporters.)

The lesson that is repeated over and over again on Yom Kippur is that ANYONE can do T'shuva, and that Hashem waits with open arms until the moment of our death. This is the way we, too, are expected to treat our fellow human beings.

(I will IY"H have another post shortly about the ability of the worst evildoers to do T'shuva.)

Our job is, not through hate and confrontation, but through love, to bring our fellow Jews back (including and most especially the ones within the frum community who are not truely frum) so that we can gladly forgive them and then turn to complete the work of bringing about the true Geula.