Meturgeman

"May your ears hear what your ears are hearing"

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Location: Kochav Yaacov, Israel

Sunday, July 23, 2006

I have 2 boys at risk

It was never my intention to make this a diary-type blog; in fact I really wanted a website instead. But for the way I would want to do my website, the amount of storage I would need and my insistence upon it being ad-free, it wasn't an option on my current budget. Hence this blog was born.

If you're interested in the goings-on of my family, you are welcome to check out my wife's blog. But here, I don't plan to talk much about family.

In this case though, it's relevant. I have two boys in the IDF; both are preparing for war. One, who just finished his training, was already sent once to the border with Lebanon for a day until he could be relieved by more experienced troops; now he is on alert in case he is needed again. The other is about to be sent into Lebanon in a tank.

Why are my boys suddenly in much greater danger? Some would say Hamas and Hizbullah. Some would say Dubya and Condy. Some would say Olmert and the Left. All of them have a part, but the basic truth of Torah says it is the God-fearing frum Jews who, by misbehaving, bring all of these troubles on the world! This is what I have been saying all along, and will continue to say.

Here are two examples. I was having an argument with a friend at work on a related subject, which is whether or not we should hate our enemies. To me, hate is a pointless emotion which always gets in the way, and always spreads beyond it's original target...often including any of our fellow Jews that don't think like us. (I'm not saying I don't hate anyone...on the contrary, I admit to a problem with anger and hate, but I try my best to control it.) But our discussion also strayed to the above topic, who is to blame for the current crisis. In the middle of a tirade against the arabs, the Americans, and the leftist government, he suddenly went off on a tangent and told me a story about a frum family on his frum yishuv that was refusing to pay his wife for some child-care she did for them. They went to one Rav, who told the family that they had to pay, so the family said, "We don't hold by that Rav." So now they're going to a 'bigger' Rav, and my friend said to me, "They'll probably say that they don't hold by that Rav either."

Hello!?! Frum Jews trying to cheat other frum Jews in a frum town, and refusing to listen to frum Rabeim that tell them they are wrong? Does anyone see a problem with this? This is NOT an isolated situation...too many things like this happen in frum communities all over the world. If the people that not only are supposed to know better, but also brag that they know better and are therefore the holy ones, act this way, what do we expect God to do? Give us Mashiach on a silver platter? I don't think so.

(I know a lot of wonderful things and tremendous Midot are also practiced in frum communities. But that is not enough if we ignore and deny the bad parts. I have hesitated to spend too much time in this blog discussing specific incidents of which I have verified and in some cases personal knowledge, cases ranging from theft to arson to child abuse and murder, but maybe I will have to bring some of them up.)

The second example involves my son the tankist. On Shabbat when I told people he would be sent into battle in a few days, 2 people in a row were happy because he would get the chance to kill Arabs. But his life is in danger? "Everybody dies sometime. He could die here, too."

About the only thing they didn't say was that if he gets killed, God forbid, he will get 72 (4 times chai!) virgins in Olam Haba.

By showing utter callousness to my anguish as a parent these people show a lack in personal Midot. And by thinking that the answer to our problems is to hate and kill, hate and kill, and glorify in those killings, in my opinion they are going against the entire spirit of Torah.

Sometimes, like now, we have no choice but to fight and kill. (We never have to hate.) But no matter how evil are the ones we are destroying, something inside of us must still feel anguish at the destruction of those who are still, after all, images of God. (I hope to squeeze in enough time soon to talk about Pinchas and the broken Vav in Shalom.) Before starting peace talks with Anwar Sadat, Golda Meir told him, "We can forgive you for killing our sons. But we will never forgive you for making us kill yours."

So my anguish for my boys is double. I fear for their safety, of course, but I also fear that they will be forced to take other lives. No amount of describing the evil of those they may have to kill will change that.

When children misbehave and get caught, the first thing they do is blame everyone but themselves. The wise parent sees through this and does what is necessary in punishment. (Although, as father of five I can tell you it's not always so easy to figure out.) The child-like adults Adam and Chava tried to do the same thing when they got caught misbehaving; Adam blamed both Chava and God Himself ("the woman YOU gave me") and Chava blamed the snake. But God saw through it and each was punished according to their share of the sin. Can you imagine what would have happened if each had stepped up and admitted their guilt? We may never have had to leave Gan Eden!

It's time for us children to grow up. It's time for us to admit the truth and start REALLY working on the ills within our own community. Only then can we begin on the true path to Mashiach.